I Can't Follow Directions

I have a really hard time following directions. Not because I don't understand (OK, sometimes I don't) but because I always see things differently than they are pictured or described. By biggest problem with following directions is for things like recipes and crafting or sewing projects. It's not necessarily that I don't like the way it is written or that I think I can do it better, it's just that I picture it differently. I think that the main reason, though, is that I love to be creative. Directions and rules are so restrictive, I see them as guidelines rather than rules.
I feel great joy when I have successfully pictured and finished a project. Many of my friends have said to me, "I am not creative. I can't do that." I don't believe it. I think some people just enjoy the creative process more that others. I believe that we were created to create. I like the simplicity of this definition of creativity: "Creativity is when you think of an idea and then you think some more and add to that idea or think of an additional idea."

I love President Dieter F. Uchdorf's thoughts on creativity :-)
He said:

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.

Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.

You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”

If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.

But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.

If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.

You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.

What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.

If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.

Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. “There is a great work for the Saints to do,” he said. “Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ.”

The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you."

My current choice of creative activity is quilting. Here are some of the quilts I have made. Kaylyn helped me design and sew the one with flowers and butterflies when she was about nine years old. I think I will always treasure that quilt the most.

I am grateful for the God given gift of creation that we all have been given.

Last year my family went to explore some caves. Before we got out of the car, we each chose a flashlight to take in with us. My husband handed me a flashlight and said this is the newest and best. So, we entered the cave, I was excited, this was going to be a grand adventure, it had been years since I had been in a cave. We turned on our flashlights. Everyone had a bright light but mine seemed to be dimmer than the rest. This was supposed to be the newest and the best. I found I didn't like walking alone, my light was too dim, I had to walk close to someone else so I could see by their light. The floor of the cave was uneven, and wet from the recent rain seeping through the roof of the cave, making the floor slippery. The further we walked, the dimmer my light became and the more nervous I became. I really couldn't see well enough to go forward with just my own light and I began to want to turn back.
When we got to the end of the cave, I decided to change the batteries and see if it made this less than desirable flashlight (it may have been new but it was not the best) any brighter. Wow, now the was flashlight was bright! I could see much better and didn't have to walk close to anyone else to walk in their light. As we continued back towards the cave opening, I felt much happier. I could see on my own!
This experience reminds me of the grand adventure of life. We must carry a good strong light with us in order to stay on the strait and narrow pathway back to our Father in Heaven. If we don't renew our spiritual batteries, our light dims and we begin to lose our way. We can depend on others, family and friends, for awhile, but, it is never as easy to walk by someone else light for long. We must keep our own spiritual light strong.

Rain

"Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby." - Langston Hughes

We moved to the Pacific Northwest about 18 years ago. I think that everyone knows that it rains a lot here. However, I don't think that is rains as much as everyone thinks it does. Without all the rain it would just be a desert. Don't misunderstand, I think the desert has it's own kind of beauty. I prefer the lush greenness here. The marvelous mountains are full of hiking trails, fishing rivers and lakes, and abundant in wildlife. In the winter the alp-like mountains are great for skiing and snowboarding.
The beaches are cool and rocky but there is always a calming sereneness there. There is always something fun and interesting to be found at the beach. My family loves to explore the tide pools, and throw logs that have washed up on the beach, into the water and then see who can throw a rock onto the log as it drifts further and further away. I once counted around 75 starfish and on another beach I have counted around 100 bald eagles, all at one time. It is hard to plan outdoor activities here. Sometimes we use plan B but we have also shivered through many windy picnics. Somewhere behind the clouds in the above picture is Mt St. Helen's. Yes, it does rain a lot here and when the sun shines it is glorious.

Thoughts on Becoming a Butterfly

Some of my most treasured moments are those when I feel the peaceful reassurance from my loving Heavenly Father that all is well. However, there are times when I struggle to feel his presence. Such trying times are often those when I feel I need him most. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin offers a this beautiful explanation for such times.

"Your answer may be found in considering a butterfly. Wrapped tightly in its cocoon, the developing chrysalis must struggle with all its might to break its confinement. The butterfly might think, Why must I suffer so? Why cannot I simply, in the twinkling of an eye, become a butterfly?

Such thoughts would be contrary to the Creator’s design. The struggle to break out of the cocoon develops the butterfly so it can fly. Without that adversity, the butterfly would never have the strength to achieve its destiny. It would never develop the strength to become something extraordinary.

President James E. Faust explained that “into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful.” 7 And then the suggestion that the adversity we experience allows our souls to become like clay in the hands of the Master. “Trials and adversity,” President Faust taught, “can be preparatory to becoming born anew.” 8

Adversity can strengthen and refine us. As with the butterfly, adversity is necessary to build character in people. Even when we are called to sail through troubled waters, we need to know the place of adversity in shaping our divine potential.

If only we would look beyond our present suffering and see our struggles as a temporary chrysalis. If only we would have the faith and trust in our Heavenly Father to see how, after a little season, then we can emerge from our trials more refined and glorious."

When your eyes meet

When your eyes meet your husband's, what does he see there? Does he see your faith in him, your love for him, your admiration of him, your enjoyment of him? Does he see the Savior's light spilling forth? If so, chances are good that you will see the same things reflected back to you in his eyes. by Allison Warner

Children

I wish I had started blogging when my kids were little, well actually, there were no blogs when my kids were little. Anyway, as I read the blogs of young mothers, I think it is a fun way to journal a family's growth and activities. My children are all adults except for the straggler who is 13 years old. She does display great maturity for her age, though (I had to mention that because she reads this, it is true, though). Being the grandmother of a two-year-old brings back fond memories of my own children when they were two years old. I truly think that ages two and three are my most cherished memories of my children. I love to see the spontaneous delight that not only glows on their faces but bounces from their bodies, as they discover and learn new things. They take joy in pleasing others and revel in silliness. Even though my children are older now, there was plenty of silliness going on over the Christmas break as you can see by the quotes below. I love my children, they will always be a delight in life.



Blake: We're boys from the same family.
Thane: We're brothers.
Blake: That's what I just said.
Thane: Don't make me stick my lollipop to your face.

Thane: "We're not here to argue; we're here to trade Tiddly-Winks."


Andrea: "This is the sound of my face exploding."
Thane: "And of all things, it's 'La Bamba.'"


Andrea: "This snow is bouncy! It's bouncing off the windshield!"
Kaylyn: "It's frozen rain."
Andrea (in denial): "Shh. It's snow."
Kaylyn: "Wow, this snow is bouncy!"

Waiting in a restuarant

A few months after my husband and I were married, we were in our favorite restaurant waiting to be seated in the dining area. I noticed a girl walk in that I recognized from high school but, I couldn't remember her name. We chatted for a few minutes and then she said, "I'm sorry I don't remember your name." I said, smiling, "It's Jill, and I don't remember you name either." She smiled back and said, "It's Jill!"

Creating Myself

...the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. ~Thomas Szasz

I read this quote on my daughter's blog. I love it, however, I've thought about it and have decided that it is not entirely true. I believe that we are free to create ourselves to be whatever we want but first we must find or discover who we truly are or our creating of ourselves will be random and meaningless. We must have a foundation to build on. Each of us must discover (if we don't already know) that each of us is a child of God. We are created by God, in his image, to become as he is. God has given each of us gifts and talents that we must also discover for ourselves. By discovering and developing these gifts we show gratitude to our Creator for gifts he has given us. With the knowledge that we are God's children and that we have been given priceless gifts as our foundation, we then can create ourselves in a meaningful way. I have often asked myself, "Who was I created to be?" In the preexistance was I kind and charitable? Did I love poetry and music? Who and what do I want to be? I believe that God has a plan for each of us. He has a plan for me. Am I creating myself to be who I was created to be?

So, I may have offended some scrapbookers. Well, I do scrapbook. I have made two (yes, I am proud of the fact that I have only made two, and, that I have made as many as two!). I love it. I made my first scrapbook when I was in college, many years ago before scrapebooking was popular. I used construction paper and wrapping paper because that's all I had. I've always been good at putting my pictures in photo albums, so, no need to spend money on scrapbooking. My second scrapbook I made about two years ago. My husband and I went on a trip to Spain, and I really wanted to scrapbook our experience. I had so much fun embellishing the pages, capturing the feel of "old" Spain. It's much better than just a photo book. The problem is, time and money. It takes too much time and money to scrapbook. When I start a creative project (quilts), that's all I want to do. I'd rather forget about the laundry, dinner, kids; I'd rather create! Besides that, everyone is doing it, I don't want to follow the crowd. I love it, but I still resist it. Now, quilting, that's another story...

Thoughts on setting goals

I've been thinking about the resolutions that I feel somewhat obligated to make this time of year. For years I have been reluctant to make resolutions at the beginning of the new year, partly, because "everyone is doing it" and I am not a crowd follower, (same reason I've been reluctant to scrapbook), and because I don't like to feel guilted into it. After all, shouldn't we be setting goals all year as the need arises? I appreciate the comment made by a friend at church that she had been praying to know what goals she needed to make. Ah-ha, that's what I need to do! That's the kind of goals that I like, the kind of goals that I know when I make them, that I will be able to accomplish. When I set a goal, such as, to lose weight, I feel like I have failed before I even begin. However, when I make a goal that is prompted by personal revelation, received after praying and pondering about what my needs are, then I feel peaceful reassurance that I can accomplish the goal. I also know that the only way to accomplish such a goal is with the Lord's help and as long as I do my part, he always does his part to help me. I believe that the key to setting and accomplishing goals is to humbly and prayerfully set the goal and then humbly and prayerfully press forward with faith.

Flood 09

I went today to look at the flooding downtown. It is terrible. I feel so sad for my friends whose home was flooded. The flood waters are higher than predicted, catching people unprepared. The level of water flowing in the river (and out of the river) is just amazing. The view from the bridge is spectacular. I wish I had taken pictures.